Just Wanna Say…

http://livingwithmylowallowance.wordpress.com/

 I moved my first and original Blogger to WordPress!

From http://livingwithmylowallowance.blogspot.com/ → to→ http://livingwithmylowallowance.wordpress.com/

I just realized WordPress, for me, is simpler and easier 🙂 But I won’t delete the old blog.

Sorry To Disappoint You.

Yep. I am so sorry. But this is already what have been decided. This one can also be called “betrayal”. Maybe that is a better word than disappointment in this situation. I am so LAME…giving such lame excuses to quit that fandom. I am a non-sense, stupid, bitch, no-good friend. No..i didn’t spent weeks for this. I spent MONTHS to think about this. I just don’t want to tell anyone because I don’t want people to get worried about me…until I talked to my sister that I want to quit. She agreed that I should quit. I am 18 already..so I need to be more mature. She also said that I need friends, not friends on the internet but REAL friends.  But I said that many of my friends that I made on the internet will get mad at me. I love all of them! I love you because you are one of my closest friends. My sis said that they won’t get mad if and only if we are really friends. That’s why I trusted you and told you that I will quit. You are the first one to know because I believed you.

Oh I just remembered..that you said you also want to quit..not once..twice I guess. For the first time, you said you want to quit, I said “Many will miss you”, “Your work will be put into waste”, “We love you so don’t quit” etc etc. Remember we had a cold war because of that? We said sorry to each other…but I said sorry the most because I didn’t understand your situation. And then I said that if you want to quit, it is ok because I am still your friend. But you stayed. You stayed for us. Many many days have passed then you said it once again that you are so confused, you want to quit..I said it ok as long as you are happy. Then I said by the time you quit, when you need me, just message me away or text me. but you still stayed. Until now..you still stayed. You are a strong person. But..I am a lame person camz.

Yes, you are doing things that are not easy…mine is easier than yours. You are a fan for longer years than me. The truth is I ENVY YOU. Why? When I was on your age, I wasn’t going outside with my friends. You can go out with them as you please. My parents life is so strict. For all these years, school and home are the only places I know. I can go out, never with my friends but with my family. I am on a legal age, so I should have more time for real friends. My mom told me that I should have more friends and stop THAT thing. I am becoming more anti-social and a loner. I really really envy you. You are so strong because you can still continue and not quit for your friends. I am a scaredy-cat…I can’t continue anymore.

You didn’t know a lot about me? You still didn’t  and NEVER understand me? Well it hurts. Especially the words NEVER UNDERSTAND. To release your frustrations? Then you said you are not mad? I think being mad and having frustrations are almost the same.

If you hate me because of this..if you are mad at me because of this…please tell me. Because until now, I still believe, trust and love you..you are one of my dearest friends. Though you’ll hate me, it is fine. Because you are still my friend. I will never hate you. There are no reasons to get mad at you camz.

This is kinda long now. Hahaha 😀 I don’t know if I said more non-sense things here because I say so much things without thinking. My sister said a lot of times that I am too honest and straight-forward. Most of the time I don’t think first before saying things. But when it comes to actions, I think a lot. I think a lot that it comes to the point that thinking is not necessary for that. Ok…I said non-sense again.

I wanna tell a story about a difficult Chemistry homework. (LOL I think this is non-sense again) I told Parola, one of my closest girlfriends in college, I won’t do that difficult, out-of-this-world Chemistry homework. The teacher gave us 2 days to make that homework, 2 days is enough for that but i still didn’t do it! Hahaha!!!!! xD I can copy my answers from my classmates and they actually said that I can copy from them..but I said I DON’T WANT TO! I am so weird 😀 Then Parola said to me, “I idolize you. Meron kang isang salita(You have one-word in things) When you said you won’t do it, you really won’t do it. You are so true to your words. I like you for that.” What Parola said is really true. So it means, I won’t get mad at you, I really admit it. I won’t get mad. It also means I will really quit. I am very sorry to disappoint you. But this is the real me. I am sorry..

Wait.. I am not a diehard fan anymore. BUT! I still update about them. I still listen to them. But not as much as before. it’s like..before, I update about them 100% of my time. Now..I think it’ll be 1-3% of my time.

Love,
Lexi ♥

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PS: I will never delete this blog. This blog was a gift for you. It means a lot to me. But I guess, I won’t update this because I made you feel so bad. Maybe there will be a time I will post here…I just don’t know when..

JUST ADDING AGAIN:
Having time with family, friends, and studies is NEVER a lame excuse.

…

I am back!!!!!!!!! For the past few days of not being online, i am finally back in my cyber world. IT WAS A SACRIFICE. Anyways, on those days, i have known myself better and have thought deeply about my fandoms…my decisions are SECRET so don’t blame me if i will do something that will shock everyone. My decision will surely shock you. I am really sorry everyone. 🙂

03/24-26/2012

Dear Kami,

Whoa.. I haven’t made diary posts for 2 days. So now I will include this day so this diary post is for 3 days. Gosh.

Last Saturday, just a normal day. I arranged, not totally cleaned, my room. I threw away my old stuff from university like handouts and test papers. Then I watched “It Started With a Kiss” in night time until 3am hahaha!!! I so love it!! (´∀｀)♡

Last Sunday, my sis and mama went to the parlor for their new hairstyle. I just accompanied them and waited for them LOL. While waiting for them, I was reading a manga, “Say I Love You”. Gosh it is so cute!!! I downloaded the manga with an android app called MangaWhat. The manga is still not completed so keep waiting!! I downloaded 7 manga already. Yippie~!!! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ I won’t be surprised if I will get addicted to manga. Mama colored her hair black because of too many white hair. My sis colored her hair brown. I don’t know what kind of brown is that. Hahaha.. Then, papa fetched us to go to the church to listen to the mass. Then we went to Jollibee for dinner. We all ate spaghetti (＾▽＾)”

Today, my sis is getting crazy,excited and nervous for her graduation tomorrow. I am excited too. I don’t know.. I’ll be wearing a dress. I should accept this! I said I will be wearing jeans but they insist! I should practice as a lady now (´Д｀。) GAMBARIMASU!!!

I hope Ate’s graduation will be successfula and fun. And I hope they won’t cry or else I will cry too. But mama is so dramatic.. Yabai!! ( ≧Д≦)

Love,
Lexi.

It Started With A Kiss

REWATCHING THIS TAIWANESE DRAMA!!!! It was televised here in the Philippines like around my highschool days. There is another sequel, “They Kissed Again”. This drama is the reason why I forgot to write my diary posts hahaha!

It is originally from a manga, “Itazura na Kiss”

If you have time, really watch it. I recommend you to watch it 😉